Is God really real to you? Is He as real to you on Mondays as He is during the Sunday service? Wait! Is He as real to you an hour after the Sunday service as He was to you during the service, even when your family situation remains the same? or when you have no tangible change in yourself? or when there have been so many blessings spoken/promised upon you and yet the only thing you see right now are the unchanging patterns in your life?
“Speak life!” I never quite understood the meaning of that phrase. All I know is that every time I try to deny God, deny the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, deny the existence of God, I get lost. Lost in my life, I feel like I’m in the middle of the ocean, just struggling to get air, trying hard to keep my head above water. I feel insanity creeping in my head, lurking in my mind. I’m not the person I should be or can be. I was never good with words or expressing my ideas but when I go seeking God and I bare my heart to Him, He sets me right. He feels like family should feel. Comforting, nourishing, empowering protective. He has, time and again, proved to my doubting heart His presence, His heart for me, His love for me. I tasted Him and I have found Him to be so, so good.
Each one of us is born with an inbuilt system to find Him, pursue Him, to want Him. It’s impossible to escape when you get a hint of what His existence is like. The leap of faith to believe that God is good, that God is on our side, that God chooses us is what deserves our attention, our meditation.
The Bible says in Psalms 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. All He requires is that moment of surrender.
In the book of Job, we see Job call God out to dole out some justice.
But I desire to speak to the Almighty and to argue my case with God – Job 13:3.
God answers Job from a storm, silencing his arguments with the revelation of His resplendent creation, His concern for it all and teaches Job to trust God with things too wonderful for him to know(Job 42:3). Job bows down in surrender as his human limitation becomes evident and His comprehension of God is proven flawed. A surrender of our logic, our questions, our baggage helps us to empty ourselves, so that we can hold Him in us and He can hold us in Him intimately. It feels like a sea-shell trying to contain the ocean but it feels right. That one second of a wholehearted “Yes” or “okay, I’ll give God a chance”, or the desperate “Show me if you’re really there, God” will open up a whole different realm of the meaning of God to you. He will not disappoint. Just like with Job, God chooses to show mercy when faced with our folly, and showers Grace upon us, when faced with our weakness.
Instead of seeing the broken state of ourselves and our circumstances, instead of being limited by our lack, instead of lamenting that nothing has changed or wondering if God is really working, instead of trying to argue a case like Job we need to take that leap of faith.
So whether I am in the middle of that amazing surge while in the midst of a worshiping crowd or whether I return to my challenges that have undergone no change, I choose to turn to God and say “speak life”. “Come, God. Breathe. Do your thing.” That alone has taken me so far. That’s all I need to keep going.
The author of this week’s blog wishes to remain anonymous and hopes that this word has been a helping hand in your life.